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Don't Disappear

Listening to Ed Mylett on his podcast, he shares the importance of owning your work; owning your story. This hit home for me.

I'm not a highly controversial person, while my online persona may say otherwise. The bikini pics, suggestive - interpretational- perception based photos, my childlike fervor for movement and bad dancing... all depicts a version of myself that don't align with a grandmother in her fifties and someone who specializes in trauma.

My online presence doesn't scream trauma specialist, life consult or guide. My presence barely touches on what I do or specialize in. It barely mentions the modalities and methods I use with my clients and students.

And my bucket lists align with a heart of nomadic, adventurist.


Don’t disappear

I think it’s important to tell the stories no one wants to hear. It gives weight to the peaceful moments I share in my 15 seconds of IG stories. Those moments are celebrations of finally being present.

It helps others understand why sometimes I disappear for weeks on IG; as I navigate my life. I’ll try not to do that.

It lets you in… helps you understand my WHY & the occupation I’ve chosen. It gives understanding to why I’m very good at what I do because where I’ve been, why I’ve chosen to invest in studies that seem absurd & the clients I fall in love with for the bravery they show up with.

I follow someone who shares daily… and I’m so scared to wake up and this person no longer share. I feel so invested in their journey it makes me bittersweet. No one lasts forever but their legacy does.

I take a lot of photos... and I'm glad I have. As I begin to look back at moments, I can see the successes, the scared reflection in my eyes, the excitement of doing something I may not survive (emotionally) and somehow find the strength to push through.

I know I'll only be this age once (in this lifetime)... And repeating failed lessons in following lives is not something I plan on doing. I'll only be this age now, but my body will be constantly evolving and transforming. I think about moments where I sat back and said no to things I deeply wanted to say yes to... I think about the stories, poems and thoughts hidden within me... Maybe not best sellers... maybe they are. Who knows. I won't know until I move into action.

In April / May / June of 2024... I'll be moving into my last chance window of checking off a

bucket list dream adventure. The 500 mile pilgrimage through Spain, El Camino de Santiago. It's been something I've been wanting to do since my 20's.. maybe even my teens.

That's over 30 years of dreaming of that someday.

The idea of someday pushes it off... So, either I do... or I don't. I won't give myself another opportunity to do it ever again after that window closes. I've been in better shape physically before the accident. But I've never been in a better place mentally and emotionally. And

I'm working on being in the best place financially as I feel and experience abundance as it begins to bloom and come into fruition.

Every moment standing still in fear or apprehension is = to losing momentum from the great experiences I've already had. I think we forget how amazing we are... We forget what our potential is... And we forget what we're capable of before being told we not...

My window is April - June 2024. It takes about 40 days to hike (and enjoy it). I plan on meeting people, veer off the beaten path, drink under the stars, kiss strangers and make cosmic love to my dreams.

I've started my journey of preparation and I've been asked a lot of questions about how I will move into this phase. I talk about my fasting ritual, yoga as a general tonic for my body, pranayama to expand my lungs' capacity by 7 times and meditation to help guide me, keep me present and love this journey. I share about keeping an interpretive travel journal that feels like art on every page... And how I will have to modify how I eat for fuel and move my body in ways to increase mobility, endurance and strength...

There's been a lot of online discussion on one of my platforms... So, I've decided to invite any one that wants to journey with me during the preparation phase.

I created a 30 Day Journey Challenge with optional beginning dates of December 11 or December 18th. Weekly zoom meet ups on Tuesday evenings. You'll get a binder to help you check off you tasks, places for gratitude, understanding the techniques. I'll be teaching you what I'm doing holistically to prepare myself and help you.

I personally am a challenge lover. I've done David Goggins' 4x4x48 twice. You run 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours which turns into 12 legs (windows) of workouts. Around leg 9 , it's brutal the midnight hour workouts become so intense, I began resting in my clothes and shoes. I've done the Andy Frisella 75 Hard Challenge and it changed my life, because I began to myself and relationships differently. Everything was falling apart to fall into place.

One of the hardest legs during the 4x4x48. Sleep deprivation was real

But this 30 Day Journey (challenge) is different... there is NO failing... just small readjustments in our current days to help us move in the direction we want to be personally.

"True greatness is being great in the little things." - Charles Simmons

One of the hardest things for me use to be committing to somethings... then it was the follow through... then it was the belief that it was possible. Now, I understand the power of the small, accumulative steps moving forward.

Sometimes, it's important to see the bigger picture. Sometimes, it's important to put an DEAD STOP (an end date... a final date of completion before it's taken off the table) to make a move. Now, that I'm in all these places... I can't see anyway forward.

Maybe.... this should have been two separate blogs. But what I'm learning is when I'm all in... I'm all in...

Owning my place in my life... Owning my space... and the journeys I've decided to be on. This has been an incredible ride.


Polly Behringer


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