Everything you're afraid of... you should be. Anything that rewires our minds creates our behaviors and shapes our identities should teeter you on the verge of complete fright.
What holds us back?
What stops us from taking a step forward?
What holds us in analysis paralysis making us rethink our moves and decide not to act?
Our minds are wired to keep us alive.
Our thoughts keep us from making decisions that place us in a position of risk.
Our habits are created to keep us from moving outside our comfort zone.
Most of your family and friends are part of that comfort zone. You are part of that zone for yourself and for your family and friends. You have been conditioned to hold them still... IF YOU are holding yourself still. No one wants to be left behind. NO ONE wants to be outed as the anchor that holds the boat to shore. No one wants to be that person WHEN the shore is not destination, not the place you're meant to stay.
I was a terrible young mom... I had no guidance, wisdom or support. I was winging all of it based on personal limited knowledge. I had no one to ask or turn to that would tell me how to be a better parent. I was reading books, but all the books were going against what I knew or how I was raised. I was tapping into those memory connections and neural pathways from my own upbringing.
They say what we remember is only 50% accurate... and the rest is all wrong.
The first time my oldest spit up (because I didn't know you were suppose to burp a baby) I thought she was dying... or possessed. My mother bounded her little torso with an ace bandages so tight she was turning red and barely able to cry. I look back... and have no idea why she did that. But at the time, I was all in and grateful for the helping hand.
That's what trauma does to you... That's what anchoring you to a shore you should have left will do... It's like being hungry for so long, you'll eat anything even if it makes you a little sick. You're just grateful for the fill.
Some of the worst choices and decisions I made came from anchoring myself to the comfort zones.
TAKING RISKS come from being 100% available to failure, feeling vulnerable (stupid & dumb for some... weak for others) and opening yourself up to the unforeseen.
TAKING RISKS opens avenues to possibilities... and may severe ties of the comfort of people you've been leaning on too long.
While studying in India and trekking through Nepal, I was journaling everyday. I was working through the last few weeks of the Artist Way. I was combining it with modalities to help me heal and release trauma stored so deep within my body, I knew a big change was happening.
When I came back from Nepal, I knew I wanted to reach out to my youngest. She wanted nothing to do with me (I assumed) and I stayed away. When I got back from Nepal, I reached out. The beauty and struggle of trekking in Nepal, opened my heart up. I understood her feelings were true to her, so they were true and they needed to be validated. It was important that she be seen and me to see and hear her.
I have been doing this most of my oldest's life, so why wasn't I doing this for my youngest.
To go to Nepal, I had to sever the anchors holding me still. This leap of bravery led me to sever more ties in 2021... and walking completely away from more in 2022 and 2023. I understood that I couldn't see where I needed to go if I was tethered to familial agreements and the comfort of an uncomfortable life.
My oldest is one of the boldest people I know, and some of that is because of the constant push and belief I show up supplying because I believe she is too...
My youngest once said, Why do you have to be so cool mom (after I was thrown from a bike and fucked up both my legs and my arms). Who knew we'd come so far...
I DON'T say to them what I can't do... I NEVER say where I feel limited, because I don't want them to believe it either. I don't want to believe it. I don't want to hear myself say it out loud. I don't need that in my life.
They believe I'm the most adventurous and brave person out there (I think) and I KNOW if I'M not living that type of life... it limits them on a subconscious level too (them and myself). I think as a parent it's up us to show our children or others (like friends and clients) that we're willing to leap into the unknown to truly find out what we're capable of.
What we believe we're capable of is based on what we know... not what we are yet to know.
This is my invitation to you to JOIN ME in the a new 12 Week Course beginning October 1st - December 23, 2023. You never know what is possible, until you take the leap and discover your limitations... and decide to push pass those imagined limitations.